my russian new year

it started at exactly 8 pm for me. i rushed to tina’s house right after my 7 pm class. when i got there, my little russian elf kostic ran to greet me with a hug.his flour-covered face and hands left marks on my shirt and shorts. he was very into the let-make-dumplings-for-new-year family activity. retch and anjae, nelmar and tina were also all around the table, kneading flour, pressing the dumpling maker sort of thing ( i don’t know what the thing’s called).trays upon trays lay on the table. like kostic they also have flour on their noses, cheeks, arms, legs etc.etc. flour was obviously abundant.

i washed my hands to join the band of dumpling makers. it was fun.we were talking and talking, the kids and i. tina keeps saying we should make dumpling s in silence. i asked why? she said because dumpling making was a sacred act. we were quiet for awhile but being a bunch who were just excited and talkative we were again talking and talking like we have not seen each other in months. came the time for stuffing surprises in the dumplings, i made the mistake of placing one piece of raisin in each of the dumplings with mashed potato stuffing when the idea was actually to stuff with only raisins the dumpling surprises. anjae, for some odd reason thought like his tita ruth and stuffed a surprise wrapped in paper on a beef dumpling.imagine the horror on the face of the russian girl tina.

came dinner time, all we had were bowls and bowls of dumpling. we were really excited.these were the dumplings we made. the first dumplings i have ever made in my whole life. before partaking of the bounty, we had to recite a russian new year chant. it was cool.

much cooler was when we started opening the dumpling surprises. i got a dumpling with a key inside, a dumpling with a ring, 2 dumplings with buttons inside, and a dumpling with a coin. these each have corresponding meaning. the key means i am going to have a new house/home, the buttons means change will take in my life this year, the coin means money of course, and the ring a wedding. i was hoping for thread instead of the ring because travelling is what i want right now not a wedding. nonetheless, i had good surprise, ergo good fortune.

a very, very different new year indeed. and i’m glad to have been educated and pleasantly surprised.

good morning!

henry, my lf, sent me this message this morning ” advice for the day: if someone is flirting with you…please cooperate”. i was laughing like crazy. it made me so awake like i have never been in quite awhile. the past days it had been really difficult to get up for class. what with the chilly temp and this bugging cough.

funny how this boy knows me. even funnier is when he sends random messages he concocts perhaps because of utter boredom brought one way or another by the restlessness of his mind.

he amuses me a lot  with all his quirky behavior. he’s so quirky in fact that he’s fast becoming predictable. it irritates him when i say “how will i survive here without you hen “. he’d go “ewe”. but seriously, i do think quite a lot how weirdl sad it would be if there’s no henry. he’s awfully funny in ways he hasn’t yet realized.

and before anyone ( apparently i have quite a number of readers, thanks guys! ) starts speculating, lf stands for “legitimate friend”. legitimate friend/ friendship is nothing more than a friendship built by or entered into or maintained by people only and only because of altruism.yes!

i have a life ( yay!)

i’m getting super stressed these past three days because of playing tourney director. i have pending paper works to do, thus stalling and stalling the other paper that will determine how bright or murky my future will be. i decided, being the procrastinator that i am, to make myself happy by recounting, remembering, noting and what synonyms have you of the stuff i’ve done and still doing in the hope of surviving the seemingly overwhelming thing called “job”. okay, let me just say that one of the favorite things i like to do besides answering surveys is decorating. if fact, i once dreamt of becoming an interior decorator.    my good friend tina the russian woman obsessed with the idea of marrying me off ( my protests either makes her more adamant or frustrated ) and reading about feng shui needed a midget’s opinion on which beads,tussels and ribbons would look good with the beautiful mahogany dining set she has and the lovely draperies i convinced her to buy for her condo in manila. it is so damn good to be shopping for the home so it would look its nicest. i was such a stress relief to be looking at ribbons, cords, throw pillows, mixing and matching them until you decide on the best combination. i wish everyday’s a home idea day.

the other source of anodyne these days is my regular swim. tina has bugged me enough to finally say “okay let’s swim”. it’s stupidly funny how idiotic i can get in the water. i constantly make the mistake of breathing in the water when i’m supposed to breathe out. but i’m getting better and it’s coolest thing.theo will be proud at the same time will laugh his pants off. incidentally, one night after swimming, we decided to dine.i have a curfew and it’s 5 mins before curfew and food’s not been served yet. i ended up staying at her place. i couldn’t go to bed yet even when i was dead tired so i grabbed one of kostic’s children’s books. it’s a collection of fairies and elves stories so magically illustrated by someone named williams. i soooo loooooveeeeee it! everyone should read it ithink. i’d have my future kids read the stories, definitely,definitely.it’s so good i catch myself dreamily remembering ‘the brownie in the garden’ selection.

these days, i’m a “saling pusa” in the blue eagle’s mountaineering club.being so, i get to wall climb with them, pack run (except that i am packless) and well ,rubber tubing. the climb last sunday kind of lessened my disappointment at not being able to snorkle. it’s a snorkle with a cause. i was suppose to snorkle when the rest of the pack recruited by sacsi because of SIMO would be diving. the goal basically is to clean-up the coast in line with the international coastal clean-up day. it rained so hard my body refused to get out of bed at 5:30 am. i have convincingly told myself, there’s next time. luckily also, in a few days time i’d start learning how to skimboard. i’m super duper excited as in. i tried surfing  and have come into terms with the fact that i was not born to ride waves, only rapids.

lastly, my sister and chuckie, being the second hand junkie that they are got the best find ever: 2 frisbees. we’re due to play next week and cut the soccer players out of the field…yes, a girl can dream she’s spunky like that!

funny love

i was laughing to death when i read a friend’s blog on love. i hope he doesn’t kill me for posting it here. here goes…

LOVE? not my priority.

hard rain

it’s raining outside.i’m watching.it’s beautiful. how it dims the bright lights from the light posts by the bridge and the streets, the red lights from the carsand the white and blue lights from the skyscrapers some meters away. the lightning is magical, the thunder enthralling.

i wanted to get coffee, obviously i can’t now but i’m enjoying this every minute…the white mermaid on the green circle can wait tomorrow or later.

i hope the rain won’t stop until after 12:00 midnight….

and  darwin says we’re going out for dinner! no rain’s stopping him.

clackers early in the morning

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my sister woke me up 20 minutes before
my alarm sounded this morning. we agreed last night to go to the airport together to save fare. her
flight’s an hour before mine and she’s taking another airline which
we are both “suki” of thanks to go fare! i’m flying through the
flag carrier.she’s bound for cebu, i for manila. we were in the
airport more than an hour before she flies and more than two of
course before i do. so what? you’d think. the thing is, i still could
not understand sometimes why people can afford to be late for their
flight. Take this family for example. Their in the same flight as my
sister. They look like they’re to attend a reunion in cebu.they
should be excited or something…no! they arrive like exactly 6:30
am, departure time when everyone else have already boarded 15 minutes
ago. i was amused at how airline personnel were running around like
headless chickens carrying the family’s hand carried bags, ushering
them through the gate and talking on the radio/ walkie-talkie
whatever those hideous bulky fones are called. i thought, “ kawawa
naman” after i saw one of them in polo barong stopped by the green
podium-like fixture or whatever it’s called, breathing heavily but
smiling and for a couple of seconds dangled his tongue. “nawala ang
poise ni manong!”

i guess it really is the responsibility
or duty of airline personnel to go as far as that for their clients,
afterall customer is always right. but i also think that no matter
the circumstance, passengers should have checked in at least 15 mins
before departure. forget the
be-at-the-airport-3-and-a-half-hours-before departure shit required
by the airlines because it’s a stretch really, just be mindful of the
inconvenience it causes the airport personnel and the other
passengers who appreciate or value being on time. also, yeah save
yourself the embarrassment of being endlessly paged or called and the
sight of you running to the plane especially when you are made up and
in heels clacking.

what now?

i’ve just move to a place near (sort of)my workplace. finally! it took almost 3 weeks to find a livable place that’s within my meager budget. it sure is a lot easier right now because i don’t have to wake up at 5:30 am to make it to my 7:30 am class. this morning however, i went to jolibee to buy breakfast and while waiting for my pancakes i suddenly just wanted to cry. i don’t want to be here. i want to be somewhere else. i try everyday to just forget this feeling but somehow it treacherously finds its way back to my consciousness and i get really upset. my classes are a welcome relief. i enjoy them.they’re many and it’s good because i get drowned in the activities i don’t have time to think. the drawback however is that papers are now starting to pile up. this is one of those things that make me not like what i’m doing.i escape it whenever i can. right now for example, i am scheduled to collect and reconstructs the syllabi of the socsci department plus prepare my grade sheets, prepare test questions for 4 different subjects, and of course check 3 sets of papers…obviously not fun, not to mention a bit unrealistic to finish. we’ll see. i’m just on the syllabi thingies and i’ve already procrastinated by making this entry. i think it’s henry’s music that’s adding to my depression and reinforcing procrastination mode. i’ve already left him to draft the criteria for the contest we are holding later this month, also left him with rubrics for grading our students performances. in short i’m free riding anew.things however keep coming. work load keeps ballooning. and it’s just been what, three weeks? and this stress. boy was i glad  i went out as often as i could the week i got back. i was glad too for the nice wedding i got to attend.a beautiful,beautiful break to this situation i’ve put myself into.the night before the wedding was glady’s pajama party and monday night, emee called to meet up at lobby bar. wednesday night tina and apol invited me at chinito’s opening where i nearly fell asleep in middle of dinner. i don’t say no to invitations.i don’t want to. i want them to keep coming. they’re my escape. a co-teacher invited me to the 100th birthday celeb of her grandmother, dang it i said yes without hesitation. i don’t know the lola but what the heck if it’s what’s gonna help keep my sanity intact then i’m in.

i don’t know what happened that iseem tohave lost my direction.i’m afraid for my 30th birthday.

random

i was infuriated last night when i caught this contestant in pinoy dream academy said before he sang his audition song which was SUMMER BREEZE that he made his  own arrangement. when he sang it, it was JASON MRAZ’s version. this freakin’ liar and on national television!!!damn. joey reyes seemed impressed or something. i mean hello? liar liar! i like the show compared to pinoy idol. i don’t even know why i’m comparing but the academy is really good. contestants get legit feedback. they’re really being taught.but after last night? man, i just totally lost interest!
==
a couple of got the chance to watch on tv brandon vera’s controversial loss to fabriccio wedum in the UFC held in london. this guy vera is sure a popular guy ( and he can cuss!he’s cool though!)the crowd was booing the whole time, just not sure if they were because vera’s the crowd favorite and that the entire stadium’s actually his fan base or because they are intelligent like that they don’t tolerate prematurely stopped fight. anyways, these UFC guys are real gentlemen.they respect each other and they’re cool after a fight. i think i’ve just been the newest UFC convert.

==
i find it odd what i saw on the news last night about a certain town in albay held a huge hamburger eating contest as part of some fiesta celebration. i wasn’t aware that we are a hamburger country or that there’s a hamburger culture so huge we have to include a contest like that in our fiestas. it’s just a bit incongruent the fiesta which is very filipino and hamburger which is so western. it just doesn’t seem right.

murky…but clear to me

"get angry! why don’t you get angry?" she asked me while we were having late lunch. " i don’t know " i said. " i want you to express your emotion. i want you to shout, whatever, just let it out" she continued. " what can i do? i don’t have the emotion you want me to express" i answered. it frustrated her that i was calm and looked fine. pat’s worried that i am just suppressing my feelings. the thing is, i wasn’t hurt or anything because i got turned down. if anything, what happened was a huge favor. i wish i had made it happen much, much earlier so i had known much, much earlier that really there was no point in keeping my word. i only wanted to find out if whatever is left inside of me is real or am i just holding on to an idea that is not one bit real. i wanted to find out for sure. i am assuming i was misinterpreted. it’s easy to be but i don’t give a care anymore. at the end of the day, while i’ve made myself look like a fool for making sure i stick to my word, i still am convinced that i am a much, much better person because i’ve done nothing wrong and have been as honest as i could possibly be. i’m at peace with that.

of firsts and facing fears

the last 2 weeks have been the shortest growing up period for me. everything that i’ve done within this span of time i never thought i would do or would be able to do…some happen too fast, some too soon albeit long delayed. let me explain.

pat’s greek/australian friend theo came to the philippines for a month long visit. because pat couldn’t be there for him all the time ( as a tour guide/ nanny ) she asked me to fill in for her. i agreed. i thought i was doing her and theo a favor by sharing my time. it turns out, he, theo would be an instrument to my growing up. something which should’ve happened ages ago.

some may find it bizarre that two weeks before i’ve never in my whole life tried to ride a bike. years ago i’ve decided it’s difficult  so i never entertained the thought of learning and told myself it’s not as interesting as everyone says it is.  but this person, when he learned i didn’t know how to ride the thing made it part of his mission in life to make me learn to ride a bike. my first try was in lamesa ecopark ( my first visit ) approximately 2 weeks ago. we borrowed a mountain bike from a couple of bikers who were looking for the boating/kayaking area in the park. after much protest i decided i couldn’t change his mind so i rode the bike. theo was on my left and this owner of the bike on my right. we had a few rounds and some shrieks i’ve never done in my life but i didn’t learn plus aching shin but i didn’t learn. theo was still bent on making me learn. when we got to bagiuo( also my first time to this place. it’s been elusive. all plans i’ve made to visit never happened and it did when i didn’t) a few days ago, we saw bikes for rent at burnham park. he rushed to rent a bmx for me and taught me for hours. i learned. i might’ve fractured the base of my left thumb, had both shins swollen, my right knee bruised to death and right ankle cut but I CAN NOW RIDE A BIKE.it feels good and free. i saw the video he took of me and i felt proud of myself.

i have an ardor for water but i don’t know how to swim so when in the beach or pool i never go deeper than my chest level.like biking, i’ve also decided a long time ago i’m not gonna learn it because it’s difficult. the fact that i don’t know how to swim also shocked theo that, again he made it his mission to teach me how to swim. it’s in my immediate plan i told him to enrol in a swimming class because it’s a good exercise for my weak back ( because of my scoliosis i decided to abandon my i-don’t-wanna-learn-how-to-swim-mentality ). he fast tracked my plan. in subic ( also my first time here. it’s just not a favorite place ) , just minutes after we got to the resort we checked in he told me we’re going for a swim. patiently, he taught me. i’ve learned to float and freestyle after 4 hours. the next day he taught me how to breathe while swimming and tread the water. i suck at both and i felt bad ( i still do). he also taught me how to dive. i learned very, very fast and he was proud. i didn’t realize how big it was that i now know how to swim until after swimming around one of the three biggest islands ( quezon island ) in "the hundred islands" ( again my first time here. i got to visit earlier than my scheduled visit )  3 days ago. after that one whole round, i still couldn’t believe i did it; that i swam around. of course i stopped several times to catch my breath and to fix my mask, to cough after drinking salt water but i did it. i enjoyed it enormously especially because for the first time in my life i’ve really felt that i was snorkeling for real. i’ve snorkled a lot of times in the past but the water’s like i said never been deeper than my chest level. i’ve never been comfortable in the water when it’s deeper than that. but in the hundred islands i was swimming waters beyond  10 or so feet. i’ve also learned to tread water ( flippers do help a lot ). the sight under water was absolutely amazing. the colorful corals were beautiful and so were the parrot fish, butterfly fish,some crawling fish, eel, groupers, several variety of angel fish, urchins among others i don’t know what’s called. the swim to see the giant clams between two islands cost me three cuts a few scratches. i was bleeding when i got out of water but it was well worth it. i’ve never seen giant clams in my whole life. i’d do it again without any reservation whatsoever.

the day before the hundred islands swim and such, i had the chance to try surfing in san juan, la union. i’ve been to this place before but seeing the waves i got scared and decided surfing’s not for me. but the insistent theo had me try it. i did. i still don’t know how to but it was an incredibly good feeling to ride the waves on a surf board. i kept falling even when i was just paddling. the waves were violent so i wasn’t hard on myself plus i was exhausted from the trip from bagiuo. i’m looking at learning how to surf. i feel that i should give it another go. i’m no longer scared of the waves ( after this person dragging me to catch them until i can breathe no more ).

while in bagiuo, i also got the chance to learn how to play fussball. i’ve been attracted to this game but i never really saw any fussball table until this trip and i bet my head on this one, only shooters’ got a fussball table ( and only one ) in the whole of bagiuo. i lost count of the games we’ve played and i’m mighty proud of myself because i played relatively decent games. there’s also that nice feeling when people started to gather around us watching our game. apparently, the fussball table in shooters don’t get to be touched much. after, the fussball we played pool. i was surprised to find out that i still can play decently. i honestly thought i would suck like crazy since it’s been 9 or so years since i last played pool. we left shooters with me still ecstatic at the fact that i was able to play fussball, that i can actually play it and that i can be competitive when i decide to or when there’s something great at stake. the bet in the fussball game was for me to look at the aquarium that contained an albino snake. i’m scared of snakes. the sight of them gives me goosebumps. everytime i lose a game i had to look at the snake and i hated it. i won some games and i was getting used to looking at the snake so theo upgraded the bet to touching the glass/aquarium. i thought i’d faint at the prospect of doing it so i tried to do well in the succeeding games. i was successful for awhile until his expertise caught up with me. he dragged me from the fussball table toward the entrance where the snake was. i touched the glass. hairs at the back of my neck stood like armies on alert. hateful!

before the road trip, i got to try go carting for the first time. it’s so cool despite being just a passenger. i don’t know how to drive a thing ( not  even a bike during this time ) so was scared of ending my life through go carting. i’ve already committed myself to doing it again sometime soon and when it happens, i’ll  be driving.

theo is also into paint balling so i  suggested we go play some after go carting. unfortunately, the place chu and i went to paintball before he left for bkk has already transfered location so we were left with nothing much to do. theo suggested we go to starcity. i’m not a fan of amusement parks. i’ve been to starcity just once in my life and i got bored. even enchanted kingdom doesn’t interest me. i have entertained the thought of going to enchanted only because friends wanted to go and i can go anywhere my friends want to go. like a lot of things i’ve decided a long time ago amusement parks are uninteresting, crazy rides are scary. once i was forced by some people i work with to try roller coaster. i was hurt and was crying the whole time. i hated it. and now this greek person insisted i try all rides. he bought unlimited ride ticket for me and warned i better use it. i thought i was gonna die at the newest looking roller coaster. at the surf dance, i shouted like i never did before and said the most number  of " shit ", " damn it " and " f*** "  anyone can possibly say in a few minutes. i still question the entertainment value of the rides. even the adrenaline rush they say that rides give i didn’t and still can’t appreciate. my first unlimited ride  will most likely be my last unlimited ride. i’m just not inclined to doing it again.

this last two weeks had been surreal not only because of what i’ve mentioned but because of other firsts and facing my fears i chose to just accomodate in my memory bank. i’d like to believe that aside from having learned some new skills that are either useful in this life or just for the sake of having fun or both i’ve become a  slightly different person in the way i think and  in looking at things. theo is a necessary event in my life just as much as the last two weeks had been.