being poor…ruth version
poverty herein is a term i’d like to define relative to my situation. economically speaking i’m poor of course but not quite the world bank’s definition of poor, i.e. people living on 2 dollars a day. yes i’m pretty thankful to God i’m surviving beyond the world bank definition.
i’m poor too on two other aspects right now. i’ve a low IQ and EQ. in an hour and a half my paper in philosophy of social science is due and what am i doing blogging because there’s just nothing in my brain i can dig worth putting in a soc sci philo paper. i’m stuck with the definition of this concept i’m working on.bottomline, i’m philosophically impoverished. philo knowledge is six feet under.add to this the fact that i don’t like the subject since 10 years ago. what we have here is worthless IQ and EQ equals no paper accomplished in less than 2 hours, meaning i’m busted.
hmm, blog.it’s supposed to make me happy that i have another channel for expressing myself (ewe!) but it turns out it’s fast becoming a source of yet another slight depression. i realized too, thanks to the eloquently written blogs of my friends, that i am i suffer from creative poverty. i just cannot be a writer. i can think creative but it never gets translated to writing because i cannot sustain my thoughts ( i think i whined about this before…well it gets to me again these days ).
i need a cup of coffee. i can afford it. i live beyond the two dollar a day budget remember? only this cup i’m taking won’t do anything but to worsen my already deficient IQ and EQ.
Uncategorized | Comments (3)may-0
0occupies about 60 percent of brain space…practically an overdose of anodyne for a painfully monotonous life….
Uncategorized | Comment (1)bulaw
perhaps this is the year that i have the most number of organizers. i keep 3 cheapipay small notebooks where i list the things i need to accomplish for the day, the things i need to purchase, people i need to meet etc. etc. given the my enthusiasm about getting organized on paper, it should follow that i am productive and accoplished everyday of the week. you guessed right. i am not. how sorely disappointing. no amount of consoling myself with the usual crappy ‘it’s-ok-organizers-are-constricting’ line can make me feel better.
so yes, lately i’ve been blue. not just because i frustrate myself for not being able to cope with my scheduled activities but some huge decision i’ve made has somehow retarded my carefully mapped out future. i got sidetracked by this whole proactive bullshit i engaged myself into. i can’t quit now. there’s progress to what i’m doing although uber slow…yes very slow and i’m losing patience. if only i can court time to suit the weird pattern of my daily life. shoot i don’t even know where this one’s going. ciao!
Uncategorized | Comment (0)films and friends
sunday was a good friends’ day. i woke up quite early…8:45 am. normally, i stay in bed til noon or past noon. the night before joey asked if i’m interested in the french film fest happening at edsa shangrila. i said yes in a heartbeat. it’s my first time and i couldn’t be more excited.
at exactly 10 :30 am, we were already cueing for free tickets. yes, free!!! plus they gave 25 peso discount on the popcorn and coke combo snack. all i had to do was present this stub that went with the free ticket.
there were four films screening that day. i managed to watch the first two…the ax which was a comedy…very entertaining, and the perfume: profile of a murderer which got me close to being really awed. it made me realize just how inchoate our movies are in comparison to french films. i wanted to stay for the other two movies but i had to be in greenbelt at six p.m to meet my other two darling friends chu and jeff.
i haven’t seen these two in like forever ( 3 mos? ). i used to meet them almost every week so i was very, very glad to meet them indeed. we planned to dine at blue ginger, our favorite thai restaurant. too bad the place closed up already ( i guess we were the only customers…:( ). sad thing but it didn’t spoil the night. we ended up at one of chu’s favorite restaurant, the kitchen. we were seated at the second table. the red brick wall complimented the quaint chandeliers so that the place felt really romantic. jeff just didn’t understand why there were moss-like plant coiled the arms of the chandeliers. i thought it was fantastic. the food was okay and as usual we were picked on each other’s food. i didn’t think the food was superb but the company’s really great. we were laughing and laughing the whole time ( jeff did with eyes half closed…he had not had any sleep actually). after dinner, we had coffee. we were later joined by joey. so we spent the whole coffee session trying to figure what carreer move chu should do given 2 lucrative offers. i think the three of us had different opinion but jeff and i kind of left it to joey, our official shrink to help chu figure whatever. jeff and i on several occasions were scouting for hot girls. my three friends are girlfriend-less and i can’t be happier helping them out pick their girls haha.
there’s really nothing new to what my friends and i do. in fact we’re bordering on doing the routinary: dinner and coffee. it’s just a wonder however that every single dinner and coffee seems different. the stories and jokes are different. and everytime we laugh our heart out ( i try not too because we’re in a public place…i end up having difficulty breathing ).
Uncategorized | Comment (1)neat class
i’m on my last term and hopefully i’ll pass my last two courses satisfactorily ( my standard for this is a point or a half-point below an average normal thinking lasallian ). but this is not why i’m wasting time here.
a couple of nights ago, my IPE class was conducted over dinner at a pizza house in malate. it’s called mamamaria italian pizza. it’s my favorite pizza place already. the pizza tastes very good, no grease ( or so i think ), crispy dough and the place is really neat. i like the very simple whitewashed walls, not so soft but not so bright lights. it’s actually a very small place. my only complain is that they serve a very cheap brand of hot sauce. Anyway, we had our class there. i liked it. i can’t i contributed anything valuable in the discussion because as always i barely understood the bookassigned for reading.nonetheless, i’m not very self-conscious anymore.i figured my professor’s used to it ( as in me barely understanding the readings ). i was happy in class last wednesday because it’s one of those rare moments that the professor ( as in my favorite professor ) really discussed. he usually leaves us to exchange thoughts about the reading. his brilliance shines when he’s discussing because he sees things we don’t. he can explain concepts, theories that don’t make a lot of sense to me. at the end of his discussion it’s impossible not to appreciate the book really.
during the discussion, beautiful as it was thanks to the professor, i got constantly distracted by the thoughts of my classmates last term. i missed them. i was imagining how much funner the dinner class would have been had santi, gary, zaki, and the rest were there. for some reason, i feel the bond among us form. this includes the professor. i don’t know if it’s just me making a deal out of it because i wanna feel good and all. i don’t want to really rationalize anymore. i’m just glad anf that’s what matters. haha. my happiness is important to me.
the thought that my IPE class is the last course in my track is both a sad and happy note. for one, it means i’ll soon finish if everything goes well.however it’s also the last class with my favorite professor. i had him in all of my terms for crying out loud. i didn’t really make sure i’m in his class. it just happens all the time that he’s teaching the courses i’m required to take. so over the last 4 terms i’m bombarded with a lot readings which i appreciate. it’s the thought of these voluminous readings that make me feel that really, i’m a graduate student. i deserve a difficult life.
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