predictable reaction
funny how one word can crumble to the ground a wall of courage one took time to muster…life is never fair!
Uncategorized | Comments (3)kostik
he hugged me tight and kissed my cheeks, then he asked in a very soft voice and a face anticipating disappointment, " are you leaving? " i said "yes". he turned to his mom and spoke in russian. she said " you told him you’re leaving now? aww he’s upset".
kostik was only a year and a few months old when tina brought him kat back to russia. they came back for a vacation after a year. kost is now 2 years and a few months old. when i met them for the first time since they arrived in the philippines i was surprised that he still remembers me. he ran towards me with outstretched hands and hugged me so tight, giggling and saying so many words i couldn’t comprehend…it was all in russian. again it surprised me that he can say so much and sometimes in three different languages, tagalog, english ad russian. when they left the phils last year, the only things i heard kost say were " ate kat o ate kat ", "mommy cucumber mommy cucumber", "tita wuth o tita wuth" and " moizie". now he speaks so much and i am in awe. he’s so smart. the baby boy i used to play with in the workroom, sometimes put to sleep and baby talked with has really grown so fast i have a hard time believing.
on our way to their apartment from the grocery, i literally dropped my jaws at the argument he and kat got into. we hailed a cab and when the cab stopped in front of us, he rushed to the door and tried opening the same. kat opened it instead and he was so mad. they were exchanging words in russian. i asked tina to translate and she said " kost is mad because kat opened the door first. kat said i’m older so i should open the door, and kost said i am the man so i should open the door". i can’t a imagine a boy who’s only over two years old can assert gendered power. i asked " how in the world did you learn to argue like that ?" he was then busy talking in three different languages about how he wants surf’s up and skateboard.
kost has become hyperactive too that it’s a little hard coping with his running here and there but he remains to be the sweetest. sometimes he flutters his lashes ever so slowly and smiles the biggest i can’t help kissing him. sometimes he grabs my arm and tuck it between his shoulder and chin. sometimes he tickles my neck which basically is his way of telling me to do the same to him. he enjoys it.
he loves cakes and was whining about eating his slice of tiramisu which his mom wouldn’t allow unless he eats his breakfast first. it was my last visit so i asked him " kost, you wanna come with me to school? " he reached for me and rested his head on my shoulder and asked his mom in russian, will the cake wait for me until i get back? tina and i let out good laughs. tina had to talk about nice things and the cake waiting and his cousin moizie’s coming just so he wouldn’t be too upset i’d be leaving for school.
they’re leaving today and i am going to miss him terribly.
when i was having coffee this morning i asked how it would be like meeting kost and kat when they are all grown up and i am all wrinkly. would they still run to me shouting "tita ruth!". would they still hug me tightly and kiss my cheeks eagerly? it made me smile.it made me hope.
Uncategorized | Comment (1)i don’t like bad news
i thought passing by several newstands on the way to wherever’s a good thing. it saves a lot of money on a morning paper.i just have to stand and browse ( using only my eyes ’cause i can’t touch the papers if i’m not buying them ) through and i get the important news for the day ( except the news that says classes are called off…whew! ).
bad news about the country doesn’t get that much to me really. possibly because i don’t see its effect directly on me. but lately the headlines of soldiers dying or mutilated do get my attention and a lot of triggers have been aggravating my supposed nonchalance over what’s happening in the war zones.
first of all i just learned i have friends, some very good friends who are posted there. some former students, some old friends, some new friends, some husbands of very good friends.
a young wife texted me some few days ago saying her young husband’s heading to the war zone too. it broke my heart.
a couple of nights ago one of my favorite persons henry sent an unusual text messages. for the first time he sounded concerned and really he cared. his message said "ruthy bear, sad gale el situation del mga soldiers na mindanao. let’s pray for them". i said, i have been.
today, again the paper said 57 dead in basilan and there were 5 junior officers also dead. i had the compulsion to know who the 5 are. half-praying half wishing they’re not any one of those i know. not my friends or my baby brother’s.
just a couple of minutes ago, my phone lit. it’s a globe update on a soldier that survived ambush in surigao.
i think about the mothers that lose their sons. i think of sisters and brothers that are worried sick. i think of wives, young and all that cry. i think of babies who will grow up without fathers, of kids who will have to get used to not habing their dads come home on Christmases and New years and birthdays. it’s heart breaking. i suppose i can take these thoughts for as long as don’t know any of them.it’s utterly selfish but yes i can. my prayers everynight include first of all protection and safety of the people i know and the people i care about. i put effort into trying to be less selfish by praying for everyone. afterall it’s the only contribution i have to abate this ugly situation.
i don’t pray for the war to end because it just won’t. there will be truce, cease fire and such but it won’t end. to think that it will in fact is wishful thinking.
i believe in prayers and faith moving mountains so i pray for cease fires and truce…that way there’s a greater chance of surviving the tragedies of war.
i don’t like bad news….
Uncategorized | Comment (0)..^,^…
it feels like jeni-flying-to-new-york-and-i’m-so-sad-about it all over again.
jeni, my eternal sidekick, has left the phils last year to make good her dreams. i was very happy for her. theselfish side of a friend caught up with me however. i couldn’t help feeling bad about her leaving. jeni’s one of those few i trust opening myself to.she’s help me through a lot of those crazy moments i had.
jeni and i have another very close friend, our spoiler, chu. chu is perhaps the only friend we have we were at one point so possessive about. we were at one not ready to let him go, not quite ready for him to have girlfriend or something to that effect. i remember us being jealous over someone he seemed to have an inclination toward.
we were teasing him of course, i was feigning a supportive attitude all the time.
like jeni, chu is also leaving perhaps his first step to making good his dreams too. this news didn’t come as a total surprise though. he’s told me about it ( actually us ) over those friends dinner. but when he said he’s really leaving, he’s got the date already. i was freaking out and whining on the other line while we were talking. of course i’m also really, really happy he nailed this application well. it’s got to be really important and prestigious and lucrative because he’s willing to leave his present company ( a big one people would die to join it ) and a new promotion.
now there’s this friendster survey question that’s constantly being asked : " are you a good friend? " to which i always answer " ask my friends ". now i’m thinking, no i am not a good friend at all when it comes to parting time…not one bit
i wonder if i will feel the same if i’m the one leaving….
Uncategorized | Comment (1)of fake brands, funny words and such
some few days ago el and i were chatting, apparently he’s the only one i always catch online. we were talking about trivia and such when out of the blue he said " man check tu miyo friendster " i said why? " i’m pimping my account " . i’m sure i let out a good laugh there. i’ve never really heard anyone use the word pimp or pimping that way and it sounded so hilarious how he used it.
then yesterday, i was walking home when this manong who was peddling buko juice caught my attention. no it’s not what you think. just because the last guy i like " got away" again in ellery’s eccentric phrasing, i’d just fall for anyone who i see on the street. manong buko juice caught my attention because of this shirt he’s wearing. it said harbard shirt. obviously trying to swaya buyer into believing it’s a harvard branded shirt or maybe the manufacturer just wants to throw jest on harvard jeans.This reminded me of these infringed but not quite infringed brands that floats our markets. i think it was some 2 christmas dinners ago with good friends chu, jeni, jeff,and joey that we were laughing about funny brands like CK which read Calvin Kevin for Calvin Klein, Samonite for Samsonite, whose jeans with the inverted triangle for guess jeans, well mr.lee for lee u.s.a.
Go to divisoria and one will find a lot of funny phrased brands patterned after real brands. the most popular and can’t be missed perhaps is havanna. i actually have a couple of this brand. it’s a good alternative for those who can’t afford havaiannas like moi!
one time, on my way to school i decided to take my breakfast in transit. i cued for a couple of donuts and coffee from a nearby donut stand. after the donut boy got my order, he politely asked the person that followed me." ano sa inyo sir?" to which the mr replied " may barvarian ba kayo?". my furrowed eyebrows must’ve been super obvious that donut boy looked at me. feeling guilty, i walked away, but i couldn’t stop grinning.
walks home almost always proffer similar hilarity. try looking at signage or whatever they’re called and there’d always be a couple or more that will give you a hearty laugh. take this repair shop which posted something like this "…accept ovened for repair". one hotel,obviously because it’s undergoing some renovations also posted " temporary close ". there’s this perpetual " beware of dog " warning all over the archipelago. i’ve always wondered who dog is.
anyways, these are things i am thankful for. they hold wrinkles at bay.
Uncategorized | Comments (3)Tiger’s got me again
i’ve recently involved myself in a project that makes me commute from manila all the way to quezon ave. after cubao i really don’t know my way anymore except if i’m heading admu or UP diliman. except for these three areas, quezon city proves to be my waterloo as far as knowing the metro is concerned. basically for the last two weeks i’ve been constantly late for appointments because i get lost and because i am pressed with time i keep trying different transport and different routes. talk about crazy!
anyways, this entry is meant to be a happy one. because of this new development in my activities, i got a new pedestrian and boy do i love it!!! it’s got 2 huge tarp of tiger woods, thanks to accenture. the first time i saw them i stopped to just look at tiger…his is the smile that could launch a thousand and more ships…i have always thought tiger’s one of the handsomest male creatures that walk the face of the earth and for sometime i’ve forgotten how gaga i used to get over him…this is where i betray sport . i like tiger not because of golf, his incredible achievement in this sport but simply because he’s freakin’ handsome ( i do understand the sport, in fact i had the opportunity to try it.it’s fun but as it is not in consonance with my financial and social standing i had to forget about it ). i remember hoarding newsweek and time magazines from CMA because they got tiger’s whole page image. i still have them. i had them displayed on my table in the office for 2 or so years. he greeted me everyday for that period of time.
now he’s back, greeting me again everyday. i am super tempted to have my photo taken between those 2 humugous tarps. i just haven’t found anyone crazy enough to conspire with this plan. seeing him everyday makes life extra beautiful.
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